Deathmatch Number One! 2
by Link
Summary: Not as funny as the first one, I've concentrated more on sweet action rather than humor. We have Ganondorf/Ganon vs. Majora's Mask/Incarnation/Wrath, Jack vs. Fenix, and a mystery fight! A little bit of gore, but no swearing, I guess it's mostly PG rather


Link awoke, startled. He was sweating. He didn't know why. Then it came to him. His fans were depleting. He needed to write a fic soon, a good fic. He needed to write a sequel. A sequel to a story a great story that he had written previously. The gods had told him so. Running as fast as he could to his iMac, he turned it on, entered Microsoft Word, and began typing

Deathmatch Number One! 2

He couldn't host this one. He had already been the host in his recent story of "The Weakest Link," and before that was the host of "Deathmatch Number One!" Plus, several previous stories. Plopping on his trademark hat, he began to think of a host. It had to be a good one, a smart one, a funny one. He was thinking about Juno from Jet Force Gemini, but he had only bought that game a few days ago and wasn't far enough to know who Juno really was. Ash? Pikachu? He decided to steer away from Pokemon. He thought of more games he knew. Harvest Moon 64 he shuddered at that thought. Starcraft? Maybe, but not everyone had heard of Starcraft. Link was desperate. He didn't want a Zelda character he had too much Zelda stuff in his works. No Onion? No, he would be sued. No Onion was of the creation of Locke Huntsley. Link took off his hat and ran his fingers through his short, yet steadily growing, brown hair. This was going nowhere his cat walked by no, not his cat. Then he went back to No Onion.

"A ficticious character" he whispered to himself. Then he got it. Shezuki Eirokuln, a handsom character with black hair similar to the real Links, popped up in his mind. Perfect. Shezuki was just some guy with a bow, arrow, sheild, and sword, that Link had invented, but he would do. He chuckled as he began to type.

Disclaimer: Hi, my name is Disclaimer, and I'm here to tell you that the author (Link) and Shezuki Eirokuln are owned by the author. All other dudes, are owned by Nintendo, or whoever made them. But no one really cares, do they?

Shezuki Eirokuln: Greetings, friends and foes, to Deathmatch Number One 2! The setup to this match is similar to the previous match, Deathmatch Number One. If you didn't read that one, here's how it goes: There are 3 matches, and the winner of each fights each other. The winner of that wins this thing alltoghether. Got it?The first match is Ganondorf vs. Majora. After that is Jack from Harvest Moon 64 vs. a Fenix as a Zealot from Starcraft. As you can see, that matchup was completely random. The 3rd match is Link's fellow author, Pi2, who won the Shigashi contest, vs. me, since she didn't specify who to fight. Well, enough rambling, let's get this show on the road! In the green corner is Ganondorf from The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time! In the red corner is Majora's Mask from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask! Let's get started! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! GO!

Stage One: Ganondorf and Majora's Mask

Ganondorf fires a shot of energy at Majora's Mask. The mask spins and defects it. The energy comes back at Ganondorf, who shoots it back again. The energy goes back and forth, but it ends up hitting Ganondorf. Majora shoots fire and Ganondorf, who gets hurt. The process repeat, only this time, the mask gets hit. Ganondorf does a slam attack, and the mask gets damaged. Majora's Mask falls on the ground and does a spin attack, only Ganondorf levitates and dodges it. While the mask is on the ground, Ganon charges for a dark blast. It connects, the mask catches on fire, and then starts changing.

Stage Two: Ganondorf and Majora's Incarnation

The Mask sprouts legs and starts dancing around the stage. Ganondorf can't get a hit at it, since it is moving too fast. The Incarnation jumps and lands on Ganondorf, who falls. The Incarnation jumps again, and hits Ganondorf another time. He recovers, and does a slam attack, which connects with the Incarnation. It screams, and in the rage, jumps again on Ganondorf. The geurdo falls to the ground, but then gets back up, with the symbol on his hand glowing.

Stage Three: Ganon and Majora's Incarnation.

Ganon whips out his swords and starts slashing this way and that. Once again, Majora's Incarnation is too fast. The incarnation jumps, and while in midair, is slashed by one of Ganon's swords. Majora's Incarnation falls, and gives Ganon the time to operate another attack. It connects solidly, and Majora screams and get back up. Another change occurs.

Stage Four: Ganon and Majora's Wrath.

Majora's Wrath fires his boomerangs. Ganon deflects them with his swords. He runs in to attack Majora, but is whipped across the face by a tenticle, stunning him. The Wrath jumps and flips over to Ganon's backside, where more whips slash the tail. Ganon then recovers, and spins around. Majora then jumps again, and whips Ganon's tail some more. This is repeated over and over, until Ganon screams in pain, and falls over.

Shezuki: Wow, that was some match! Ok, who do we have next here? Ah, yes, the random match of Jack vs. Fenix. Ok, in the blue corner is Jack from Harvest Moon 64!

Ann, Popuri, Maria, Karen, and Elli: Go Jack! Go Jack! It's your birthday! Not really! Party anyway!

Shezuki: Sit down, girls! Except for Karen. You can come here. Um, in the Teal (I think) corner, is Fenix as a Zealot from Starcraft!

Tassadar and Zeratul: Alright Fenix!

Shezuki: Yah, ok, 54,321, and go!

Jack takes out his long ranged hoe, and powers it up to level 3. It is released, and dirt flies up in the air 6 paces away, where it gets in Fenix's eye.

Fenix: Ow, my eye!

Jack runs up to Fenix when he is stunned and pulls out the level 3 axe. He charges it up, but not fast enough. Fenix recovers jumps out of the way. He turns on his arm blades and prepares to slice Jack. Jack spins around, and uses the level 3 watering can to dampen Fenix's blades.

Shezuki: I have to say, Jack is very resourceful. He uses a hoe and a watering can to fight.

Suddenly, the Zealot speed upgrade takes effect, and Fenix is very fast. He charges at Jack, and, since his arm blades are disabled from water, punches Jack. Realizing that Fenix is faster than him, Jack calls his horse. Hoping on, he attempts to trample Fenix. With a huge blow to the face by Fenix's fist, Jack realized that that wouldn't quite work. He then picked up his unconcious horse, and using the power from the power berries, swings the horse around. It hit's Fenix's sheild, but doesn't damage Fenix himself. Jack whips out the fishing rod, and swings it round and around. It hits Fenix's sheild over and over, and finally penatrating it.

Fenix: This is just stupid.

Fenix grabs the fishing rod, and swings Jack around his head. Letting go, jack flies away and lands in Popuri's lap. With a horrifying crack, Popuri screamed, "He's dead!"

Shezuki: I mean, could a farmer really kill a Zealot? No. Let's face it, that match sucked. Ok, so now we have Pi2 versus me. So who is Pi2? Not only a great author, but also a space mutant. Let's see an e-mail sent to the author describing herself.

"Hi Link! Okay, my character is Ban. He's an alien, six feet tall, with orange bug eyes. He has two antennae, also like a bug, a red and black-striped uniform, black pants and boots, black gloves, and a surgically fused backpack that looks like a ladybug's shell. He is usually calm, but dangerous when cornered. His weaknesses are water and balogna. He knows lots of karate-style moves, and can also make cool robot spider legs pop out of his backpack to elevate him and increase speed. He also has a ray gun. I hope this helps! 

From, pi2"

Shezuki: Ok. Whatever. No problem, because I have a sword, a sheild, and bow, and some arrows. Note, I can only use my bow and arrows, OR my sword and sheild. For example, I can't use my bow while my sword is out, and stuff like that. Let's introduce the people! In the brown corner, with devishly handsome black hair and a brown vest with a white shirt underneath it, is ME! And in the orange corner is Ban/Pi2. Here we go, 10987654321, GO!

Shezuki pulls out his bow and fires. Ban ducks, Another arrow is shot, but it was aimed so when Ban ducked, it would hit her in the forehead. She reared in pain, but plucked the arrow from her skull. Shezuki whipped out his sword and sheild and put his bow across his shoulder. He charged, but his sword was knocked out of his hand and it flew into the crowd, landing on Maria's head.

Maria: Ooh, I feel dizzy

Shezuki, knowing that Ban has a weakness to water, came prepared with a jug of it. He thew it at her, and Ban screamed in pain, before falling down. Shezuki walked over the corpse, when it sprang back up, now with sweet spider legs. It jumped, but Shezuki blocked her with his sheild. She rubbed her head, and took out her ray gun. Shezuki blocked the attacks with his sheild, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold it out. He decided to change tactics, and quickly put away his sheild and whipped out his bow. He rolled under a ray blast and fired his own arrow. It hit Ban in the stomach.

Shezuki towered over the bug with an arrow in his hand, ready for the final stab. He walked toward her, and Ban crawled backwards to avoid Eirokuln. Then she stopped, and realized she couldn't go any farther. She was cornered. Shezuki was close, so close, but then he remembered dangerous when cornered

Ban sprang up, lept over Shezuki, and while in mid-air, reached down all spider legs, grapped Shezuki Eirokuln's head, and ripped it off his spine. She landed, opened her mandibles, and engulfed her enimies head.

Disclaimer: Well, I guess I'm the only one left to do the announcing here's the final battle, with no need to introduce everyone, but just as a reminder, we have Majora's Wrath, Fenix, and Ban/Pi2. Ready go!

Fenix already had his feet enhanced for speed, Majora was already in the Wrath stage, and Ban was already in danger mode, so the match was insane. Fenix, now being the fastest, emitted his arm blades that were now recovered. His sheild was, too. He ran up, and hit Ban 3 times with his arm blades, before a blast from her ray gun made him back up. He was glad he used that sheild battery, because if he had no sheild now, the blast would have almost killed him. The Wrath threw some boomerangs, and Ban, being agile, avoided them, but Fenix didn't. His sheild was already penetrated now, from the ray gun, and the boomerang. Ban realized this, and shot a ray gun blast, killing Fenix. Majora leaped, but so did Ban. She caught him with her spider legs, and came down on the ground so Majora would bash his skull. He did, but quikly recovered and started to give Ban a good lashing. Ban used her spider legs to block them, but Majora had tangled them all up with his tenticles. Neither of them could use their spider legs or tenticles. But, Ban still had her normal arms. Wrapping up the tenticles even tighter, she took out her ray gun and started blasting Majora. Majora was defenless. He coukd even throw a boomerang, because his tenticles were attached to his arms. But Ban didn't notice Fenix recovering. 

He actually had 1 HP left, and he was out for long enough for his sheild to recharge some. He silently activated his arm blades, and tried to hack at Ban's back. It didn't work, since Ban had her protective backpack/shell thing on. She felt it though, and fired a ray gun blast behind her, since she couldn't turn around. The inaccurate shots missed, and Fenix ran infront of Ban to hack at her eyes. Now blinded, Ban fired many ray shots everywhere, hitting Fenix and Majora a few times. Then her ray gun made a *click* nose.

She was out of ammo.

She felt around for Fenix with her antennae. She found him, and chucked the ray gun at his forehead. Since his sheild had been broken by the ray fun, and he only had 1 HP, and Ban had a very strong throw, Fenix fell to the ground, truly dead this time.

Majora jumed in the air and flipped, his arms spinning. Ban flew up in the air, and landed on the ground with a THUD. Although still alive, she was in a very weak state. She got back up, and decide to use her karate now. She did a Kwang Soo, or Peircing Hand, and snapped the tenticles of Majora. Ban was free, but her spider legs were still tangled. She decided to retract them, since they were useless. Ban performed a flying side-kick, but was stopped on the way with a boomerang. She fell to the ground twitching. Majora stepped over his opponent, but Ban, like many bugs, had a muscle spasm, and her hand hit Majora, and he flewin the air, flipped, and came crashing down on his head. It snapped, and Majora was dead.

Everyone waited to see if Ban could recover. If she did, and was even the slightest bit alive, she would win. But, if not, it was a tie. But, as you may know, bugs can run around a bit, even after they are dead, because the brain waves are still being sent to parts of their bodies. It was true for this time, and the half dead Ban was the winner. She accepted he trophy, and then fell down dead.

Well, what do you think? Not as good as Deatmatch Number One? Better? Tell me, pleeze! This is Link, over and out.


End file.
